Heat & Desire: A MFM Firefighter Romance (Surrender to Them Book 4) Read online

  “I’ll take a glass of water, if you don’t mind.” I nodded and sat down on the edge of the couch.

  Brody fixed two glasses of water and returned to the living room. I still couldn’t believe, of all the firefighters in the world, it was Brody and Micah that showed up at the bakery. I also couldn’t believe that he still made my heart flutter, despite knowing what I did about how he preferred to enjoy his women. The years had only made him even more attractive. His hair was a little longer, his muscles were even bigger, and he had those same gorgeous eyes that made me want to melt. It was impossible to look at him and not remember what I saw the day my perspective of him changed so much. I wished I had never went to his house that day. I would have been fine living with my teenage fantasies that could never come true, without having them shattered. Those fantasies got replaced by something else—something that haunted my dreams and made me blush whenever I thought about it.

  “I forgot how much I missed a greasy slice of pizza.” Brody finished his second slice and tossed the crust on the plate.

  “What do you mean? I remember pizza being on the menu at least two times a week when I was staying at your place.” I tilted my head to the side.

  “It used to be, but after Beth went away to college, I started trying to eat healthier—hit the gym a little more.” He shrugged and leaned back in the chair.

  As if you needed it…

  “I guess things got boring once we both left.” I nodded and smirked.

  “It was an adjustment, that’s for sure. I spent the first year just expecting her to open the door and walk in at any time.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Truthfully, it’s been a little lonely.”

  “Surely you haven’t been alone this whole time. You’re not dating anyone?” I raised my eyebrows inquisitively.

  Oh god, why did I ask that? It’s none of my business.

  “No.” He looked down and sighed. “I’ve been on a few dates, but none of them have turned into anything serious.”

  “I know how that goes…” I exhaled sharply and reached for my water.

  “Well, unlike me, you’ve got plenty of time.” He lifted his head and nodded.

  “You’re not that old.” I scoffed and sipped my water.

  “You do realize that I’ll be a grandpa once Beth has kids.” He chuckled and picked up his water.

  The world’s sexiest grandpa, that’s for damn sure.

  “Yeah, but you were super young when she was born.” I took another drink of water and shook my head. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” He stared at his water. “I’m going to get a refill—want me to top you off?”

  “Sure.” I smiled and handed him my glass.

  I couldn’t help but wonder if the reason Brody was single had something to do with what I saw. I didn’t expect him to talk about it, but that would explain why he didn’t exactly date. It wasn’t my place to judge. He was free to do anything he wanted with his life. He would always be my savior, and he deserved that title before he showed up at the bakery. He gave me a place to stay when I was at my darkest point and didn’t want to go home. I could never repay that generosity. It was nice to talk to him and have a real conversation. I wanted that so bad when I was a teenager, although I would have probably blushed too much to actually talk. He would always be my first crush, and there was no way to look at him without those old feelings creeping up, but he was a fantasy I could never have.

  “What’s your plan for this place?” He walked back in and handed me my glass of water. “Cleaning it up will help, but it’s going to cost a lot of money to repair everything.”

  “Yeah.” I sighed and took a sip of my water. “I don’t honestly know. It needs so much work that I’d be better off just burning the place to the ground.”

  “Bad joke.” He glared at me and sat down.

  “Oh, right.” I chuckled and lifted my hand to my mouth.

  “If you want some help, I’d be glad to grab my tools and lend a hand.” He shrugged and sipped his water. “My schedule is wide open until Thanksgiving.”

  “I couldn’t ask you to do that.” I shook my head back and forth. “I’ll figure it out.”

  “You’re not asking, I’m offering.” He leaned forward and put his glass down. “It’ll cost you, though.”

  “Oh?” I raised my eyebrows inquisitively.

  “Yeah, another slice of pizza.” He chuckled and opened the box. “Once I eat this, it’s a binding contract.”

  This is a really bad idea.

  “Okay, if you really want to help…” I stared as he lifted the pizza to his mouth and took a bite.

  We made small talk for a little while longer and then he decided to let me get some rest. After he was gone, I found my mind drifting into those old memories again—the ones I desperately needed to forget. I avoided him at Beth’s wedding for a reason. I knew that my teenage crush was still buried in my soul, begging to consume my thoughts again. That was exactly what it did when I stretched out on the couch and tried to sleep. The instant I closed my eyes, I was back in his house, eighteen years old, walking up those stairs. It wasn’t a new dream, but it was as vivid as the day I saw it with my own eyes. Like most of the dreams I had after that day, when I got to the top of the stairs, it was me on the bed. I was the one opening my mouth, preparing to taste Brody’s enormous cock. I woke up before it got to the good part, my heart pounding in my chest.

  This isn’t just a bad idea—it’s the worst idea in the world.

  One week later

  “Honestly, we should rip the carpet up in the living room.” Brody leaned down and sighed. “It’s in really rough shape and I don’t think a steam cleaner is going to do much.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that. You’ve helped me fix so much stuff already.” I shook my head back and forth.

  “It won’t be that bad.” He walked over to the corner. “It’ll be a lot cheaper than hiring a professional to do it.”

  “How long would it take?” I couldn’t deny that the carpet was in really bad shape.

  “We could do it this weekend. If you’ve got time.” He turned towards me and put his hands on his hips.

  “I’ll have to talk to Jillian. I hate to ask for a day off, considering I nearly burned the bakery to the ground.” I sighed and shrugged. “I’ll definitely have Sunday off.”

  “Let’s move the furniture when you get off work on Saturday and then we’ll get started early on Sunday. How about that?” He raised his eyebrows inquisitively. “I can pick up some new carpet between now and then.”

  “Yeah, I guess that would be okay.” I nodded and smiled.

  Brody had done so much for me since the fire that I felt like I was taking advantage of his generosity. The problem was, I liked hanging out with him. He was more than just muscles and a mesmerizing smile. Underneath all of that hotness was a genuinely good man.

  I had to get those thoughts out of my head. He was my best friend’s father. He was completely off limits. That was a line I couldn’t cross, no matter how good he looked when the sweat made his t-shirt cling to his gorgeous body. He always seemed to be so happy when he was here with me, and I loved the way he laughed. My teenage crush was desperately trying to make me forget all of the complications that any sort of relationship would bring. Even if it wasn’t as complicated as it actually was, I knew something about him that I could never reveal.

  That’s a secret I’ll have to take to my grave, no matter how much I dream about it.

  The next day

  “Welcome to Marigold Bakery, what can I help you with—oh my god.” I blinked as I saw who was walking through the door. “Micah?”

  “You know my name.” He smirked and his eyes lit up. “That’s a good start.”

  Right—I shouldn’t know his name.

  “Yeah, um—of course I know the name of the guy that saved my life.” I nodded enthusiastically. “What can I get you today?”

  “I just came for one thing.” He walked up and leaned against the counter. “Your phone number.”

  “My phone number?” The shock was still coursing through my veins and all I could do was repeat what he said as a question.

  “So I can ask you out on a date.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

  “Um—sorry.” I shook my head back and forth. “I’m not really interested in dating anyone right now.”

  Definitely not you—that would be almost as bad as dating Brody.

  “Going to play hard to get, huh?” He stuffed his phone in his pocket and nodded. “Okay, then. I guess I’ll take a couple of bear claws.”

  “Sure.” I stepped back and picked up a box. “Coming right up.”

  I fixed Micah’s order and he never took his ocean-blue eyes off me. They followed my movements as I packed the bear claws in a box and walked towards the register. Micah was about an inch shorter than Brody, but more muscular. His tight black t-shirt barely left anything to the imagination—not that I needed my imagination to remember what he looked like without it. He was very attractive. If I met him under different circumstances, I wouldn’t have hesitated to give him my number. I was tempted—god was I tempted. He looked like a Greek god with a jaw that could cut glass. I managed to keep my composure as I rang up his order and took his money. It wasn’t easy—especially when he let his fingers graze my hand as he took his change. I handed him his order and stepped back from the counter as he took it and walked towards the door.

  “See you tomorrow.” He looked back at me and winked.

  “Tomorrow?” I raised my eyebrows in concern.

  “I plan on stopping by here every day until you get my order right.” He pulled the door open.

  “I did get it right…” I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “No, you didn’t.” He shook his head and grinned. “Your number isn’t on the box.”

  Micah

  Ten years ago

  “Will you…” I fumbled as I pulled the black box out of my pocket and dropped down to one knee.

  “Are you fucking crazy?” The girl in front of me looked at me like I had just laid a slap across her face. “No!”

  “What?” I looked up at her and felt a dagger going through my heart. “We talked about this…”

  “We were drunk. You think I’m going to marry you?” She took a step back and shook her head. “I’m not looking for that kind of commitment. I thought you knew that.”

  “But you said…” My words trailed off.

  “I say a lot of shit.” She turned towards the door. “But I guess I’m done saying it to you.”

  Lorrie Whitaker was my whole world until she left me on one knee, holding the ring I spent every penny I had on. Our relationship started with a spark, raged like a wildfire, and ended in a boom I didn’t see coming. We were only nineteen but I thought we were in love. I worked my ass off to save up enough money to buy her a ring. I never expected her to say no. I even asked Lorrie’s father to give us his blessing before I asked her to marry me. My heart shattered into a million pieces when she walked out the door. I lost a piece of my soul that day—one that was completely unrecoverable. I sank into depression, drifted into a dark place, and numbed the pain any way that I could. I became a shell of the man I thought I would become, because he only existed for Lorrie. I didn’t even know who I was when I finally opened my eyes one day and looked in the mirror.

  I need to do something with my life, otherwise I’m going to end up slowly killing myself.

  Six years ago

  “Welcome to Canyon City Fire Department.” Chief Henderson smiled and extended his hand.

  “Thank you, sir.” I stood and shook his hand.

  “Follow me.” He motioned with his hand. “I’m going to introduce you to Brody Shaw. You’ll be riding on his truck when we go out, and maybe one day you’ll get to ride in the passenger seat.”

  I thought about my future a lot after looking at the remnants of myself in the mirror. I never allowed myself to heal after Lorrie broke my heart. I didn’t feel like I had the strength to pull myself back from the brink entirely, but I hoped I would find solace by channeling that hurt in other ways. Helping people had always been my passion—before I lost touch with the man I thought I would become. I knew there wasn’t much action in Canyon City, but they needed a new firefighter to replace one that was retiring. The town had toyed with the idea of swapping over to a volunteer fire department in order to save money, but the mayor rejected the proposal. Most of the real action happened on the stretch of interstate that ran by Canyon City, which was notorious for accidents because three lanes turned into two with very little warning. The mayor wanted to make sure the town could respond properly in the event of an real emergency.

  “Brody, this is Micah Adams. He’s our newest recruit.” Chief Henderson walked up to a man who was busy putting on his shoes.

  “Nice to meet you.” Brody raised his head and extended his hand.

  “Likewise.” I nodded as I shook his hand.

  I didn’t expect to find a kindred spirit when I joined the fire department, but Brody carried a lot of the same hurt I did. His was different than mine, but the foundation was similar. He got married young after his girlfriend got pregnant, and he was still wearing fresh scars from his divorce. Most of the other guys at the fire department were married, or didn’t have much interest in doing anything but going home after their shift. Brody’s daughter stayed with his ex-wife every other weekend and they alternated holidays and breaks from school. Brody and I ended up going out a lot when his daughter wasn’t home. My party days definitely weren’t over, and while Brody never drank to excess, he still liked to have a good time.

  I didn’t realize how good of a time we could actually have until we ended up at my apartment one weekend and the woman I brought back with me asked if he was going to join in on the action. I fought a constant battle when I brought girls home. I kept my heart locked away and focused only the physical pleasure, but that was hard sometimes. I quickly learned that sharing a woman with Brody made it really easy to avoid an emotional attachment. There was no pillow talk and no awkward moments when I questioned if the woman in my bed was someone I could see myself with. It was just filthy sex that lasted through the night. That turned out to be the cure to everything that was eating me up inside—or so I thought.

  Present day

  “Want a bear claw?” I walked into the main part of the fire department and dropped a box in front of Brody.

  “You don’t I don’t eat that shit—wait, are those from Marigold Bakery?” He looked at the box and lifted his head with a concerned expression on his face.

  “Yep, I stopped by on my way to work.” I grinned and sat down across from him.

  “You asked her out, didn’t you?” He shook his head in disbelief.

  “Yeah.” I shrugged and opened the box. “She turned me down.”

  “Thank god.” He exhaled sharply.

  “Wow, way to shit on my love life, Brody.” I glared at him as I picked up a bear claw.

  “Your love life?” He raised his eyebrows and smirked. “All you want to do is take her back to your place and never call her again.”

  “I don’t know, man.” I bit down into the pastry and chewed. “This may be different.”

  “What happened? Did you wake up and decide that you suddenly wanted to stop being a manwhore?” Brody chuckled and closed the box—probably to avoid temptation.

  “It’s been months since I took anyone home.” I put down my bear claw and sighed.

  “Probably because you ran out of women in Canyon City that would fall for your shit.” He leaned back in his chair and a slight smile formed on the corner of his lips.

  “No, that isn’t it. The well ain’t dry, trust me. I think I’m just looking for something else now.” I leaned back in my chair and stared aimlessly as I spoke. “When I saw Wendy today—I just knew that she could be the perfect woman for me. I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”

  “Fine, if you’re serious about it, I’ll put in a good word. I’m going to warn you again, though—if you hurt her…” Brody’s eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened.

  “I know. You’ll kick my ass.” I reached down and picked up my donut to take another bite.

  “She deserves better than you, that’s for damn sure, but she’s lonely as well. Maybe she’ll be a good influence on you.” Brody shrugged and suddenly opened the box. “Fuck it, I already had pizza this week. I might as well top it off with a bear claw.”

  “We might have to put an extra hour in the gym every day this week if she keeps telling me no.” I chuckled and finished the last bite of my pastry.

  “You’re planning to just stop in every day and ask her? That’s… pretty much stalking.” Brody bit down on his bear claw. “Fuck, that’s tasty. I forgot how much I missed sugar.”

  “Maybe after you put in a good word for me, she’ll give me a chance.” I stared at my napkin, almost wishing that Brody had left the second one for me. “Hopefully before I get addicted to these damn things.”

  There was something exciting about the chase. Wendy didn’t just immediately start batting her eyelashes the second I showed interest, unlike most of the girls I picked up at the bar. She was beautiful and her curves were enough to drive me crazy, but I wanted it to be about more than that. I wanted to take her on a date, get to know her, and find out if she was someone I could build a relationship with. I needed to push the rest of the darkness out of my soul, and a woman like Wendy might do just that. I just hoped she would give me a chance. I was tired of dancing with the devil and spending the night with women I never saw again. It lost substance long before I finally stopped going out on the weekends to find someone to keep my bed warm, and I was officially done with that. I needed something real.